Siman 406

(4.) On the eve of the last Rosh Hashana in Uman — we stood before him at the time when we gave him our kvitlech [notes] and money for redemption. Then he asked about one person from Nemrov who had not come for Rosh Hashana. And Rabbi Naftali began to justify him — and he did not accept the words. And he was very particular about him. And afterwards he spoke also about another person who had not come to Rosh Hashana due to many obstacles. And because of this the person traveled to Rabbainu o.b.m. before Rosh Hashana and told... to him the obstacles. And Rabbainu o.b.m. himself commanded him to return to his home and not be with him at Rosh Hashana. And this man was among the greatest of the important ones, and he was very pained that he would not merit to be counted with us at Rosh Hashana. He began to insist before him o.b.m. that he not return to his home, only that he remain with him at Rosh Hashana. And he o.b.m. did not agree to his words and drove him home. And then Rabbainu o.b.m. said to him: "I cannot bear for myself this pain, that you will not be with me at Rosh Hashana." And the aforementioned man said to him: "If so, I will remain here," and he did not agree, and he returned to his home. Afterward, on the eve of Rosh Hashana, he spoke with us about this, and said that upon him there is great mercy, for he truly wanted to be here at Rosh Hashana, but he was prevented because of the aforementioned. Afterward he za.tza.l answered and said in a strong voice, from the depth of the heart: "And what shall I say to you — there is nothing greater than this," that is, than being with him at Rosh Hashana. And he said it in this language, in a voice of much trembling: "Vay azoy zol ich aych zogin — kein grearsers der fun iz nit farhanen. Ayy andere gute yidin zogin nit azoy, iz noch akshia" [What shall I say to you — there is nothing greater than this; and if other tzaddikim do not say so, then it is all the more a difficulty] (that is, behold, without this many difficulties are already raised against him, and this difficulty too will be hard — that he is so particular that one be with him at Rosh Hashana exactly). From his holy words that he spoke with us then we learned several things. We learned this time the very greatness of the obligation to be with him at Rosh Hashana. For although we knew this long before, nevertheless, because of the abundance of his holy words then on this, and his awesome movements then, we understood the very obligation more and more — something that cannot be explained in writing. And also then we learned that his will is strong to be with us in Uman at Rosh Hashana always after his passing, and that there is nothing greater than this. And we also learned how much one must strengthen to break the obstacles through words of holiness — especially the obstacles to being at Rosh Hashana, which must be broken greatly, and one must be at Rosh Hashana exactly — to the point that even if he za.tza.l himself commands and agrees that one not be with him at Rosh Hashana, it is forbidden to look at this, and one must be very careful never to ask him any question about this, for he will certainly answer that one should not come — and nevertheless, at the true point of truth, one must be there exactly [and so he conducts himself for the generations]. And this matter touches on what our Sages za.tza.l said (Makkos 10a): "Along the way a person wants to go, they lead him" — as Rashi explains. And it is from the words of our Sages za.tza.l on the verse (Bamidbar 22): "Go with the men." And likewise in the sending of the spies — Moshe Rabbainu, upon him be peace, was himself compelled to send them, although in truth his will was not at all in this. And we saw this matter from Rabbainu za.tza.l several times — especially regarding Rosh Hashana: there were people who had obstacles to being with him at Rosh Hashana, and they asked him themselves, and he answered them that they should not be at Rosh Hashana. They began to insist: "Behold, we heard from you the greatness of the warning to be with you at Rosh Hashana." And he made himself as though particular about them and rebuked them not to speak further — and so they did, and they did not come at Rosh Hashana. And nevertheless we merited to be accustomed to standing before him: we heard and understood, in allusion and explicitly, that his inner will is not at all pleased with this — only that he is compelled to tell them so because they ask him about this. And there is much to tell of this; a little of it will be explained elsewhere (Sichos HaRan 214). And so he conducts himself for the generations: when one asks the rav and leader about a matter that involves something like self-sacrifice, he must answer no — although in true truth his will is that he give himself over and break all the obstacles. Therefore, whoever wants to draw close and break the obstacles in true truth must be very careful not to ask him about this at all. And you will understand this matter further in other places that speak of such matters — and understand very well. (Omitted from above, regarding Rosh Hashana — that one must be with him at Rosh Hashana exactly: he said that then people can receive rectifications that all year long it was impossible for them to receive a rectification in any way; nevertheless at Rosh Hashana even they can receive a rectification. Even though all year long, even he himself o.b.m. could not rectify them — at Rosh Hashana they too can receive rectifications. For he said that at Rosh Hashana he accomplishes matters and rectifications that all year long even he cannot accomplish):