Siman 590

(147.) Once a person came before him z"l complaining how very difficult it is for him to pray — for alien thoughts greatly confuse him. Rabbainu z"l replied: "This is accepted as atonement for sin" [in Yiddish: "nemt men dos on far a kaparas avon"] — and smiled a little. And it was somewhat apparent that his intention was: for these thoughts are themselves transgressions — and therefore he smiled a little. But even so, certainly all his words are truth and righteousness — for in any event... ...for in any event in this — that one does not reflect afterward, G-d forbid, and one knows that certainly Hashem Yisburach wants to draw him close and receive his prayer — only that his sins caused him all these thoughts that come to confuse him — and he has pain from this and flees from them with all his strength — it can certainly be that this itself is considered for him atonement for sin — so much so, that if he were to merit to conduct himself in this with completeness and truth, as is proper (for it is impossible to explain this in writing), his transgressions would themselves be forgiven through this — and then, consequently, all the alien thoughts would depart from him. And similar to what our Rabbis z"l said [Brachos 12b]: "One who transgresses a transgression and is ashamed of it — they forgive him" etc. And see Likutay Tinyana, Torah 46, and in the Conversations (Discourse 12): that waging war with the alien thoughts during prayer, to subdue them — or at least to flee from them — is the aspect of [Psalms 44]: "For it is for You that we are killed all the day" — the aspect of self-sacrifice and the aspect of sacrifices etc. And he has already explained much in his words z"l regarding these matters. A certain man of our circle of peace was in Petersburg. And he would write to him of blessed memory from there many letters — for he had great pain from this, that he had been exiled there. For several times he of blessed memory had heard from him that there, in the aforementioned place, it is very hard to strengthen oneself in the service of Him, may He be blessed — for it is a very dangerous place. And once Rabbainu of blessed memory told of this, and said in this language: "Das vas er hot more un tittert — tomar, chas vesholom, vet er zich nit derhalten. Hot das derhalten ihm." This very thing — that he so fears and trembles lest, because of the danger of the place, he not be able to stand in his level — this very thing stands him up and strengthens him to stand on his standing — and not to fall from his level.