Divaikus – Binding Bonding to Hashem

“My soul cleaves (divaikus) after You, Your right (hand) supported me (Psalms 63:9),” “I clung (divaikus) to Your testimonies Hashem do not shame me (Psalms 119:30).” My father, Merciful Father, help me in Your abundant mercies and Your great kindnesses, that I merit to bind (divaikus) myself to You always at all times, honestly, and with complete faith, and with correct and settled mind, with holiness and with great purity. And I should merit to examine myself at all times (to check) if I am truly bound (divaikus) to Hashem Yisburach, until I merit to fulfill the mitzvah of (Deuteronomy 10:20) “oovoah (and in Him) sidbuk (You should cling),” in the utmost perfection as is Your good desire.

Master of the World, who hears the screaming from the depth on the nethermost scheol (-cavity in hell) and from beneath it, hear my scream, and my groan/wail[99], and my very bitter sigh, which is very heavy, very deep. Oh Heavens[100], awaken[101] to my plight and my victimization, what I myself exceedingly prey upon myself, and also others are very, very out to get me, and the battle is upon me from the front and the back. “Return Hashem (from Your wrath already), until when (will You punish me)? And rethink positively of Your servant (Psalms 90:13).” Ahhuh (-expression of woe) Hashem, ahhuh Hashem, “I have outstretched my palms to You (Psalms 88:10),” from the deepest, deepest depth, from the deepest, deepest hiddenness within hiddenness, from thousands and myriads of concealments, I’m in dire straits my Father Who Is In Heaven, it is very oppressive and bitter for me, it is very oppressive and bitter for me, and I don’t have any language in the world with which to explain my words (-what is on my mind) and my pain, “My calling Your heard (-previously), do not hide Your ear (-now) to provide me with relief on account of my prayer/cry (Lamentations 3:56 and Aramaic Targum).” Be gracious to me, and help me that I should merit to tie down the sitra-achra (-evil realm), the realm of “kaitz (-end of) kul (-all) bussar (-flesh),” under the holy speech. And I should merit to extract from their mouths what they devoured[102], to extract from the sitra-achra (-evil realm) all the evil words and all the defected words that they (-the evil realm) sucked nourishment from (them) through the defection of the speech that I defected (in it) unintentionally (-bishoagaig) and intentionally (-bimaizeed), under duress beyond my control (bi-oaness) and willfully (-birutzoan), and I should merit to rectify all of them with Your abundant mercies, until I merit to extract all the words from the sitra-achra, and to return all of them to their holy roots, until, “all the evil will expire like smoke, and iniquity shuts its mouth[103],” “because He will close the mouth of all those who speak falsehood (Psalms 63:12).” And You should fill their mouths with gravel[104], and contort and uproot the mouths and tongues of all the accusers, and slanderers, and denouncers of Your nation Israel, who are kosher and desire to truly fear Your name, and put in their hearts that they should return from their bad ways, and they should truly incline their hearts to the truth, and (that) the truth will be revealed in the world, and there will be a fulfillment of the verse (Isaiah 55:7), “The wicked will leave his way, and the sinful man (desist) his thoughts, and he will return to Hashem, and He will have mercy on him, and (he will return) to our G-d for He will forgive with abundance/largesse.”

And in this vein, You should help me in Your abundant mercies, and Your great kindnesses, and Your enormous goodnesses, and Your true graciousnesses, and Your strong compassion, and Your great love for us always, and You should merit me, and save me, that I should merit to raise the speech to its root which is the five fingers of the left hand, which correlate the five source of enunciations of the mouth[106]. And You should merit me in Your mercies to express my words (-what is on my mind) before You always, every day, truthfully and wholeheartedly, and everything that is with (-on) my heart I will converse before You, truthfully, and sincerely (-timeemus), and with very, very much arousal of the heart. And I should merit to speak with great holy passion, to arouse my heart to You, and to speak between myself and my Maker with the flame of the mights[107], and to be truly aroused to Your devotion. And I should merit to speak with a passionate heart words of truth of the heart, and to see my slightness, and my lowliness, and my enormous and bitter pain, the pain of my sins, and transgressions, and (willful) sins, that I transgressed, and erred, and sinned before You from my youth until today. And You should help me with Your abundant mercies that there should be drawn upon me great and enormous abashment from You, and I should merit to be very, very abashed before You over the huge amount and enormity of my (willful) sins and transgressions, against a Master and Ruler (-“Rav vi’Shaleet”) Essence and Root of all the worlds, Master and Ruler of everything, and above everything, and nothing is above Him. [He who] Fills all worlds (-“mima’lay kul almin”) and surrounds all worlds (-“soavaiv kul almin”), and within all the worlds, and there is no place vacant of Him (-“les a-ssar punnoy meenay”), from Whom all the supernal creatures (-of creation) and all the creatures below, all of them tremble and are frightened from the fear of His great and holy Name blessed He, and all of them perform His will with love, and with fright, and with fear, and terrified, who will not be afraid before You, who will not tremble from Your Name, and in my abundant sins I (willfully) sinned copiously against You blessed You, to the extent that my heart was so occluded (with impurity) (to the extent) that I can’t even be properly abashed before You, I will neither be abashed nor will I know mortification[108], and/hence now with what will my abundant sins be atoned, and with what will I appease and placate You Hashem my G-d and the G-d of my fathers?

And save me in Your abundant mercies from the brazenfaced, and help me, and bring me salvation, and rescue me so that I do not have any brazenness of the sitra-achra (-evil realm) whatsoever, and merit me soon/quickly to humble, and to break, and to nullify the brazenness of the body and its desires and its vices. And have mercy on me, and bring me salvation, and save me from all the types of defection of the bris (-covenant, circumcision) in the world, in thought, speech, and action, with vision of the eye, and with hearing of the ear, and with the other senses, with all of them I should merit to be holy and pure with the holiness of the bris (-covenant, circumcision), with great holiness, as is Your true good desire, as is befitting a member of Israel, whom You chose.