אות - מח

The Rebbe often spoke about his childhood piety — his awe, holiness and alacrity. He said that he began anew many times each day with deep devotion, resolving that from then on, he would be a true servant of God. Then the temptation of food or such would get the better of him, and he would fall from his high level of devotion. But on that same day he would begin again, with new resolve toward true devotion.

The Rebbe would thus fall and begin anew many times each day. He often told us how he continually began serving God anew (see “ His Praises ” #6) .

This is an important rule in devotion. Never allow yourself to slide further, even if you have already fallen in your service of G-d or your prayer and devotion seems to be without meaning. Strengthen yourself and begin anew. Act as if you were just beginning to serve God. No matter how many times you fall, rise up and start again. Do this again and again; otherwise, you will never become a true Jew who is coming close to God.

Draw yourself toward God with all your might. Remain strong, no matter how low you fall. Whether you go up or down, always yearn to come close to God. No matter how low you have sunk, stay resolved and determined to draw close to God and to yearn and pine for Him, and cry out to God. Do everything you can to serve Him in joy. Without this inner strength, you will never be able to truly approach God.

Keep going until you are willing to serve God all your life, even without a promise of reward (cf. Avot 1:3; Alim LeTerufah #264) .

You may imagine that you are so far from God that you have no future reward. You must still serve Him as you can, even without such a promise. It may seem that you are heading for Gehinnom. Nevertheless your responsibility to do what you can is still there. Continue to serve God as best you can. Snatch a good deed, a lesson, a prayer, and God will do what is good in His eyes (I Chronicles 19:13) .

It is told that the Baal Shem Tov once became very dejected. He could find no inspiration and was sure he no longer merited the World to Come. He had absolutely nothing with which to revive himself. But then he said, “I love God – even without the reward of the World to Come.” 69 This happened during his attempted pilgrimage to the Holy Land. A childless couple approached the Baal Shem Tov for a blessing for children and he promised them a son. His brashness in making this promise allowed Satan to prosecute him, and the latter succeeded in taking away the Baal Shem Tov’s portion in the World to Come. When the Baal Shem Tov found out, he exclaimed, “I love God – even without reward!” Recognizing his dilemma – the Baal Shem Tov serving God without reward would give him that much more power – Satan agreed to reinstate his portion in the World to Come ( Haggadah , Noam Megadim ).

This strength of resolution is the only path to God, and no matter who you are, you can still follow it. Begin anew, even many times each day. As time passes, you will then find yourself taking the road leading to God. Amen.